Not Home Yet

Earlier on our trip, Tyler and I watched the third Narnia movie, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Although I haven't read much of C.S. Lewis' work, I love his metaphors in the Narnia series. I particularly like the scene in Dawn Treader where they stand at the shore of Aslan's country. You can barely catch a glimpse of it, and it looks beautiful. It's described as better than any other place in the rest of the world, a new and exciting adventure, where Aslan resides. Because you can't return from it once you enter, you are there for forever. Sounds marvelous, doesn't it?

We have been traveling the world, and it's incredible. Seriously, there is nothing like seeing the changing landscape, experiencing different people, tasting different foods, and reliving history. Each new day I am mesmerized by the beauty around me and still shocked by the fact that Tyler and I are blessed with this opportunity. Now that we've been settled in Bulgaria for a little while, I've had some time to reflect on all the amazing things we've seen, and I have had a wake up call: I'm not home yet. "Well obviously," you say. "You're still abroad." But I'm not talking about my temporary home in the States. I'm talking about my eternal home.


Heaven is going to be so much better than anything, anywhere, on this earth. That sentence, describing how little we know to expect, can be mind-boggling. I will come right out and confess that sometimes, because of how intangible and incomprehensible heaven is and how tangible and wonderful this life can be, I have a hard time desiring heaven over this earth. I am guilty of being so caught up in the here and now that I don't think about the future (no, I'm not talking about what job I will get or how I will handle taxes...I'm talking about our eternal future). When I do stop and think about dying or Jesus coming back (look, one or the other is going to happen, ok?), I want to be able to say, "I can't WAIT to get to heaven!" But if I'm completely and totally honest with myself, my first thought is more like, "I'm sure heaven'll be great, but I still have a lot I want to do before I get there, like have kids and see the world and figure out a way to procure a life-time supply of free ice cream." I know, I know, it sounds terrible. And I promise that I don't want to feel that way! But we are sinful by nature, and that nature desires worldly, temporary things. I think it's doubt's way of creeping in. Every Christian has doubts about something or other in their faith, and my struggle with it makes it hard for me to let go of the things of this earth.

You see, whenever I try to imagine what heaven will be like, visions of all the good things about this world come to mind: a tropical beach, majestic mountains, laughter, all you can eat of the best food, etc. The problem with this is that those things, although good, are the things I like about earth. Because I have them here, I'm excited about being in heaven, but I'm in no hurry to get there. And that's where this mindset comes from: "Heaven will be an awesome place to spend eternity after I've had my long and fulfilling life here on earth."

It's when I take the time to really think about who God is, what He's done for me, and the vastness of His existence that I am taken aback by the reality of life here, and an unexpected joy about eternity fills my heart. The important thing to remember is that heaven is more than a place. Yes, it will be glorious as a "place," more beautiful than anything we can imagine, no more pain or tears, joy unlike we've ever known, etc. But heaven is eternity with God. It is forever and ever and ever with our Father, our Savior, our Friend, our Creator, our Lord, our Comforter. If that doesn't give you goosebumps, check your pulse. Whenever things are tough, I can remind myself that I'm not home yet, but I will be soon. Maybe not in three months, but I will be home with my Father soon, forever.

The title of our blog is Awake My Soul. This is actually the title to one of Tyler and I's favorite songs by Mumford and Sons, and I find that the lyrics are very fitting to the cry of both of our hearts as we continue on this epic adventure. One line says, "In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die. Where you invest your love, you invest your life." Life is so temporary! We are called to live with eternity in mind, and that means investing in the right things. Our prayer since the start of this journey has been for God to awaken our souls to new life, to purpose, to a deeper desire for Him. That is especially my prayer when I think about heaven: I want the clouded veil of this complicated worldly existence lifted so that I can see Jesus clearly and desire Him above all else. I was made to meet my maker!

"Awake my soul, for you were made to meet your maker."