A Swiss Cheese Lesson

Switzerland has to be one of the most beautiful places on Earth. I actually think I was accidentally born and raised in Missouri when it should have been high in the Alps among the wildflowers, goats, snow-covered peaks, rocky streams, and countless waterfalls. There’s something so quaint, so peaceful about the villages dotted throughout the Lauterbrunnen valley and along the grassy mountainsides that makes you feel right at home and never want to leave. Not to mention the stunning views, charming people, and superb hiking offered at every turn. Go ahead, feast your eyes.

Glorious.

A few from our hostel

The Mountain Hostel in Gimmelwald!

The upper end of a valley we hiked to one day

A rough panorama I tried to accomplish via a random program I found on the internet...this was that same valley

Something else the Swiss Alps offered me on this particular trip was a humbling lesson in my brokenness and God’s holiness. You see, on our second full day in Gimmelwald, Tyler and I opted for a long hike. Although we like to be outdoors and enjoy hiking, we’re not the most experienced when it comes to climbing actual mountains, so this was going to be pretty strenuous for us. Let me also mention that, due to all the walking we’ve been doing with not enough support in my shoes, I’m pretty confident I have a stress fracture. Oh, and half an hour into this hike, I stepped in a small hole and turned my ankle. So at this point, I’ve got a lot going for me. But we were in the Alps! I wanted to hike! I wanted to make the most of this! Four ibuprofen later and we were pushing through. 

Now, I’m a perfectionist. Which is ok, in some aspects, because it means things usually get done right the first time. But it also means I easily get caught up on little flaws and failures in everything I do. Like taking forever to climb a mountain. During our hike, I must have apologized to Tyler 58 times (at least) for going so slow or needing a rest or who knows what else. Even though he was never frustrated, annoyed, or angry with my slow progress and he recognized the hindrance that was causing it, I still felt horrible for slowing us down and let it eat away at my self-confidence until I was no longer enjoying being in the freakin’ Alps with my husband. He kept telling me to stop apologizing, and I would say something like, “I know, I know, but I still feel bad.” We eventually came to a fork in the trail with signs pointing towards different end destinations and time estimates for how much longer it would take to get there. We’d been hiking for about two hours at a steady uphill climb, and the sign told us we were only halfway there! I was so discouraged, so tired, and my foot was hurting so bad that I was ready to turn back. At this point, Tyler decided we needed a “come to Jesus meeting,” so he sat me down and we talked through some things and prayed and cried (well, I cried…Tyler just held my hand), and we decided to keep persevering. We still had a ways to go, but we could finally see the top and at least had something to keep us going. I cannot begin to tell you how incredible it felt to reach the top, to have nowhere but down to go, to take in the view, and celebrate my personal victory. Here are a few pictures of that hike:

A view of the valley on our way up

The mountains on the other side of the summit

A view coming down from our hike

At the top!

The shark's fin just beyond the plateau we climbed to

A view of the Lauterbrunnen Valley from the top

See that teeny tiny red circle way up there? That's where we hiked to. And the building in this picture is where we started.

If I think about my relationship with the Lord like climbing this mountain, I am able to draw some pretty mind-blowing parallels (at least for me—I definitely had a few aha! moments on this hike). In my daily walk, I recognize my imperfections. I even understand that my sinful nature is the unchangeable root of those imperfections. And yet, I still feel the need to make up for them somehow and win back God’s favor. I get bogged down in the daily “climb,” can’t see the top, feel sorry for myself because I can’t do it on my own, feel guilty because I am a sinner and therefore incapable of saving myself, and want to quit. And that’s the stupidest thing ever. Because I know I’m not supposed to be able to do it on my own, and when my actions and emotions show that I am trying to earn God’s love (i.e. saving myself), I am completely depreciating and disregarding Jesus’ work on the cross. Like somehow, he died for everyone except me, so I have to work extra hard to make up for my sins. On the hike up, Tyler led me. He kept encouraging me, pushing me, and asking me to stop apologizing because he was just enjoying being with me. This is where I began to draw the parallels: I saw my bum foot representing my sinful nature, the thing that is naturally hindering me from permanent intimacy with God; I saw the mountain as the life of faith, a tough climb but worth it at the end; I saw Tyler as God gently encouraging me, leading me, only asking for my best and never expecting perfection, and just enjoying our walk together (*side note: I do not worship Tyler, nor does he come before the Lord in my life. It was just a metaphor, so no, Mom, we don’t need to have a talk J); and then there’s me, struggling to keep up, wanting to enjoy it, but becoming discouraged by the fact that I’m not perfect at it and therefore must do something to make up for it. What a lesson! What a hike! 

You see, God is not unlike Swiss cheese: He is holy. And I am not unlike Swiss cheese either: I am riddled with holes, broken and empty (work with me on this…I know it’s cheesy—haha!). If I can’t learn to let go of chasing the dream of perfection, to simply lean on Christ and let Him fill up my holes, then I cheapen grace; I devalue my need for it by instead trying to earn it, which of course is never possible, and thus ensues a long downward spiral from which there is no escape except through Jesus. It’s a lesson that I’ve always struggled with, and it’s one that, unfortunately, God has had to teach me a few different times, so this glorious and humbling hike was probably not the end-all-be-all—I’m sure accepting grace will continue to be a struggle for me. But I know He will never give up on me, never stop loving me, never stop encouraging me up that mountain, and never cease pouring out His undeserved grace.

I hope you guys can really feel grace today. I hope you know how much God loves you, and know that it doesn't at all depend on anything you do. I'll try to post again in the next day or two with more on our time in Switzerland.