The Girls' New Home

For those of you who haven’t heard, we have moved the girls to their new home! After the surprise inspection, things were kind of crazy here. We had to bring the living relatives of those kids from out of state to Bangalore (a 5-day journey one way), we had to take care of a lot of paperwork, and the big project that we needed accomplish was to find a new home for the girls. The girls have never had beds, and the house that they were in was way too small for that many kids. The problem with this task was that no one seemed to want to give their house to rent once they found out it was for a children’s home. George looked for about a week at countless buildings and houses, but nothing seemed to work out. He finally asked his own landlord if they could take the girls there as a backup plan in case they couldn’t find a place, and it was a miracle that he said yes. The time came where we couldn’t look any longer and had to get them moved, as a follow-up surprise inspection could happen at any time. So we packed them up and moved them to George’s house, about two miles away from the boys’ home. Here are some pictures of the move, their new home, and the new beds they got a few days later:

The Bible college students helping set up the girls' new beds

They've never had beds before, so they were super excited. Some were even putting them to use right away!

What about George and his family? They moved in with Tyler and I in the apartment we’ve been staying in. The crazy thing is, it used to be their home until about a month before we got here. George felt the Lord prompting him to find another place to live but to keep their old apartment for guests to stay in (which was us), so he followed His lead. If he had not done so, we would still be looking for a place for the girls to go, leaving the children’s home vulnerable for another inspection—and if another inspection were to happen, they would have every right to close the girls’ home and take them away. It is an incredible blessing to see God’s hand in everything here, and George and his staff pursuing His will with all their hearts.

Thanks for all your prayers and support! Please continue praying for the team here as we adjust to the girls being far away; many of the children are siblings, and they’ve never been apart before. We will continue to look for a facility big enough to house all of the children, so be praying for that as well.

Little is Much

The third day we were in India was a Saturday, and Saturdays are a big deal around here. The children still go to school, but it’s only for a half day. Every day of the week they have study time from when they get home from school until evening devotions, but not on Saturdays. Once they get back from school on Saturday, after lunch, they have from about 3 until 7:30 or 8 in the evening to play to their hearts’ content. Looking back even now, having been here for a little over two weeks, it is such a sweet memory. We were just getting acquainted with the kids, and remembering how bashful and timid they were on that Saturday is precious when I am with them today and laughing at all the different goofy personalities and individual quirks—and trust me, they’re not shy anymore. Here are a few pictures of play days with them since:

Tyler playing basketball with some of the boys

A little bit of teamwork to set up goals for a soccer game

Strikin' a pose

This was a pretty intense football game

With 50 kids, it’s hard to divide your time evenly, but we did our best. No sooner had we turned the corner towards the children’s home did they come running towards us to ask us to play with them. I started out playing with the girls, and I think the younger boys got ahold of Tyler. Such simple pleasures! Being fought over by different groups of kids, all with the biggest smiles on their faces, brought me such joy. Like I mentioned in an earlier blog, I taught them Duck, Duck, Goose, and they were content to play for half an hour. You just don’t see that kind of enjoyment out of life in kids in America. Instead, you see kids with TV, movies, video games, and PSPs, plus all the regular childhood games, getting bored with all of those options within an hour. There’s a feeling of restlessness that comes from being given everything; it’s like we know, subconsciously, no matter our religion, that there’s more to life than material things, but we choose to ignore it. The children here have that concept down. Some would say it’s because they’ve never had everything, but even if that’s true, they’re doing something right.

Case in point: we were playing a game called Lock and Key (kind of like freeze tag except you can freeze yourself to be safe from the “it”), and I was it (for the 63^rd time). I was chasing a girl named Revathi around, and out of the corner of my eye I saw something fall to the ground. I glanced around and realized one of Revathi’s earrings was missing. I yelled for everyone to stop and began looking, and after about literally 10 seconds of looking for it, Revathi simply said, “Leave it. Come on, leave it.” I was shocked by this proclamation and was determined to find it. When I finally did, I saw that it had somehow been broken. When I showed it to her and told her how sorry I was, she said, “It really is no matter. Come Aunty, let’s play!”

This rocked me back on my heels. I don’t wear much jewelry, but I do love earrings and have a pretty impressive collection. Even with my many pairs, I would still be sad if one were lost and would at least try to find it; if one were broken I would definitely be sad and want to try and fix it. Yet here I am in India with 50 children, anywhere from 4 to 18 years old, each whose meager worldly possessions amount to three or four outfits, a backpack and their school books, a comb, a toothbrush, and a random toy or two (and for the girls maybe one pair of earrings), who are not corrupted by the false belief that we must surround ourselves with things to be happy. I know many Christians even who mean well but still try to hold tightly to whatever we own in this world; heck, I’m guilty of it. It is so easy to be enamored with the things of this world: cars, homes, jobs, toys, favorite shirts, movie collections, jewelry, even things like household appliances (have you ever met a woman who doesn’t cherish her KitchenAid?). But in the eyes of the Lord, little is much. The less we have, the less distracted we can be by our possessions. The more focused we are on what’s important, the more we are able to further the kingdom of God.

Being an American with an abundance of possessions doesn’t make you a sinner. Our culture simply has more than the cultures of lesser developed nations. But I would challenge you to think about everything you own. Is there a possession that would become a tragedy if it were lost, stolen, or broken? You see, I think Revathi understands something better than many successful Americans. Although she may not have this particular perspective because of her belief in the Lord, she still knows that wealth is not in our possessions. This little girl owns less than 20 items, and when one was destroyed, there was not even a hint of sadness in her face or voice as she told us to continue playing. Do we even realize how many hundreds (maybe even thousands) of things we own? Like, every piece of furniture, every item of clothing, every notebook, every photograph, every hygiene product?

I’m not trying to guilt-trip you about how you have so much more than orphaned or abandoned children in other parts of the world (although I do think there is something to be said for aiming to live a simpler life). But I do want you to think about the weight you put in your possessions. Wouldn’t the world still go on if your favorite shirt was ripped? How about if your laptop crashed to the ground and was broken beyond repair? Would not God still be on His throne if your iPod was stolen? What if your car was totaled? Aren’t people and relationships more important than possessions? Isn’t the Lord bigger and more valuable than anything of this world?

I say little is much. Few possessions equates to greater reliance on the Lord, bigger opportunities to serve Him, better perspective on life, and more freedom to enjoy the simpler things. Little is much when we have eternity in mind. This world has nothing for us; why then do we hold so tightly to the things we own? Jesus said, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” So where is your treasure? If you say it is in Christ, do you live like it?

Big Girl Shoes

I  am not very good at discipline, especially when it comes to my spiritual life. My whole life (spiritually speaking) has been a roller coaster of ups and downs, spiritual highs and lows, days of faithful scripture-reading and prayer followed by weeks of spiritual blandness, etc. Now, I know that everyone experiences times of plenty and times of drought. But I get particularly discouraged by the seemingly endless cycle of, “Wow, God is so good, I want to read my Bible all day long…(a few days later)…I don’t have time for a quiet time…(a few days later)…I’d rather watch a movie than read my Bible…(a few weeks later)…*vowing to do better a better job at putting the Lord first*…Wow, God is so good…etc.” Have any of you ever experienced this cycle?

Something kind of crucial that I left out of that cycle happens during what I will call the “conviction phase.” Before the cycle starts again, I realize what I’ve done and come to a place somewhere between guilt, despair, and shame. I find myself wallowing in a false sense of self-pity: self-pity because I feel like I have a long ways to go to get back in “good favor” with God, and false because that’s not even remotely true. It isn’t, is it? If it was, Christianity would be built on works, not on grace and faith—there’s no such thing as “earning” God’s favor by doing all the right things. And yet this cycle continues to happen to a nauseating degree. I wage a silent and destructive war within myself, going back and forth between times of conflict and times of peace, fighting over priorities and trying to believe what I know to be true about grace, all the while simply stepping aside and letting Satan feed me lies and send me into despair. And I’m sick of this!

A little while back, when we were still in Bulgaria, I was having one of my self-pity moments. Although Tyler and I had been trying to hold each other accountable to reading scripture and praying regularly, there was something about my heart that didn’t feel in the right place. I was nervous about India, and I wanted to fill my free time with mind-numbing things like movies and fiction books, so whenever I did open my Bible, it was simply for the sake of doing it. But instead of spending more time in prayer and worship with the Lord to ask him to rectify my heart, I felt sorry for myself for not doing a better job and chose to blubber and cry about how horrible I was, how disappointed God must be with me, how I’ll never be as good of a Christian as some other people. And you know what Tyler did? Instead of comforting me and letting me cry it out, he stepped up and led me like I needed to be led. He refused to let me wallow in self-pity and allow sin to keep me in the pit. Yes, I got a heavy dose of “tough love” from the husband that day. He basically told me to put on my big girl shoes and do something about this stupid cycle—I’m doing nothing for myself or for Christ when I stay in the ring with Satan (and just to clarify, he went about this in a comforting and loving way…God just gave him the wisdom to see beyond my emotions and give the constructive criticism I needed to hear. What a leader!).

Let me throw a little bit of scripture at you: 2 Corinthians 7:9-11 says, “Yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance…Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorry has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done.” So what is this “godly sorrow” Paul speaks of? When people think of something that is “worldly,” they think of lust, corruption, greed, etc. But I think it’s important to note that anything that does not further the kingdom of God is worldly.  The Lord wants us to feel conviction; it’s one of the reasons why He gave us the Holy Spirit. If we never felt conviction, how would Jesus shape us to be more like Him? But here is where many people (including myself) mess up: we feel conviction for something we already knew we were doing wrong (be it a secret sin or simply having priorities backwards), and then we feel horrible about it and let guilt and self-pity take over to spiral down into a place where there is no progress. This is worldly sorrow. What God intended for us to do with conviction was feel the Holy Spirit’s prompting, repent, and do something to correct it. There is no room for the stagnancy that comes about from simply feeling guilty about “failing” God. We must take action! Nothing will ever change if we go round after round with worldly sorrow in a dangerous cycle that, as Paul says, leads to death. But godly sorrow leads to salvation! Salvation from death itself, salvation from a particular sin, from self-pity, from selfishness, from all things that bring pain. And it leaves no regret. Doesn’t that sound worth trying?

God At Work

A few days ago, George’s family took us to visit a jungle in a national park over the weekend. Although it was a treat for us and they wanted to show us another side of India, it was as much a treat for them because George has not been able to take a weekend off like this since January for fear of something going wrong (they have recently become a government-certified children’s home). While we were away, people from the government came by for a surprise inspection of the children’s home. Several issues arose, and most of it wasn’t actually anything wrong, just nit-picky things to attack this particular children’s home because they are Christian. Be that as it may, these people still had the power to close down the children’s home for whatever reason they chose. They were threatening to take 6 of the kids away because they're not from this state and the living parents or guardians are too far away to get here. There was a very real possibility they would remove them from George's care within 48 hours. For some reason the inspector was also demanding that Helping Hands produce fresh signatures and letters from parents (although George already has that from when they were admitted to the children's home).

Another issue was the girls' room. George has known for some time that they really need more space (although they make do and get by), and it's been his ideal dream/goal to buy a plot of land and build a building big enough for everyone so they don't have to worry about space, sufficient area for play, or nasty landlords and grumpy neighbors (they are the probable reason for this surprise visit). In fact, George had a plot of land which he was planning on building on when they had raised enough money, but had to sell it a few months back to keep the children’s home running. Now, with a fundraising goal of over $200,000 since they have to buy a new plot of land, it seems it may be further than a few months away (a side note: if you feel led to contribute financially to this goal in any way, please contact me asap!).

All day Sunday we worked and prayed, trying to get files in order and do as much as we could before George’s council meeting on Monday. All we were asking was for 10 days to get any necessary paperwork and make any changes needed to the children’s home itself. But there was a very real possibility that he would return from the hearing without those 6 kids and a mandate to vacate the girls from the home. George actually heard from someone that the woman who had come to inspect them told another children’s home that New Hope was already closed. Staff fasted, prayed, and wept, and we were all so afraid of what might happen. Even the children fasted and prayed and went to school crying on Monday morning for fear of 6 of their brothers not being there when they returned. It was such a stressful time for all of us, but even in this time of darkness and fear, George still remained confident that God’s will would be done, that there was power in our prayers to make the devil flee, and that whatever happened, God would still be on His throne and taking care of them.

Tyler and I finally got a phone call around 3 in the afternoon on Monday. All George said was, “We won the game. We’re coming home.” We all gathered in the office to hear what had happened, and everyone wept tears of joy when George said that the woman who had been there on Saturday, making nasty accusations and aggressively questioning the staff, said very few words, and when she did speak, she was very polite. We praised the Lord when he told us that the man who was overseeing the hearing took one look at the children he had with him and the files he’d brought with him and said, “I don’t need to see anymore. These children are obviously cared for, and you may have your 10 days to get everything in order.” It was such a time of joy, but all the attention and praise was immediately pointed away from George and towards the Lord. He made it clear that it was only because of God's power, love, and grace that the inspectors had mercy and allowed for time to correct the things that needed attention. That evening we had a celebration to thank God and rejoice for His answer to prayer: we prayed, we sang, we laughed, and we all had dinner together. Here are some pictures from that celebration.

 

Everyone was so happy that we spent some time just hanging out and dancing.

More dancing

Crazy kids. They were just happy God answered prayers!

Love these girls. Also overjoyed with the work God did!

The group at the celebration

A presentation of a "congratulations" bouquet to George for his work and for God working through him

Presenting a card to Appa and Amma (George and Jyothi) that the kids had made

Celebration dinner!

Thanks for all your prayers on this issue, and please continue praying for these people. We still have a lot of work to do before the follow-up inspection. George and Jyothi are doing so much for the children here, and the Lord clearly has a purpose for what they are doing. We are feeling God leading us to be with these people more and more and fill whatever needs they have for us. Their suffering has turned into our suffering as we have grown to know and love these children in such a short amount of time.

We love you all! Thanks again for following, and for all your prayers and support.

Faith to Move Mountains

I am so sorry it’s been so long since we’ve been able to update you on all that has been happening here in Bangalore. Internet has been scarce, and when we have had it, it’s been short-lived. That being said, I wanted to fill you in a little more on the people we’re working with here.

Helping Hands India was started in 2001 by Pastor George Fernandes and his wife, Jyothi. The organization itself does everything from seminary school to widow and old age care to medical camps to orphan care to church planting, but the main focus is the children’s homes, known as New Hope Children’s Homes. In the beginning, they began taking children into their own 1-bedroom home, and since then George and Jyothi have sacrificed everything and done whatever necessary to keep the children’s home going. Their family (they have three children of their own) has moved several times, giving up their own home to make more space for more children. They sold their car several months back to pay for school tuition, and George sacrifices a lot of time with his own children to take care of all the paperwork and office details.

This is George, Jyothi, and their three kids, Sunny, Joshua, and Lenty. We took this picture on a weekend trip to the jungle

George has a pretty incredible story himself. He grew up in the slums and came to know God when he was a teenager, but during his late teens he turned away from Him and lost hope in life. At one point, at his very lowest, he decided to end it all by laying on a train track. The train had not come by the time it was supposed to arrive, and George felt the Lord speak to him, telling him he was meant for more than this, that He had a purpose for his life. So George got up and walked away from his suicide attempt, and the train came by less than five minutes later. When George’s father died, George was offered his government position, and George also gave that up to follow God’s call for his life to continue taking in children.

In the short time that we’ve been here, he’s told us countless other stories of struggle and despair, unbelievable faith, and God’s love and provision. They are funded entirely on support, which means there are times when they have to rely entirely on the Lord to prompt someone to give enough to get them through the month. One month they were exceptionally low on funds, and George told us that he had 20 rupees in his pocket (that’s less than 50 cents) with a week left in the month before they would receive support again. God led a couple from South Africa to their doorstep; they had a flight leaving the next morning, and they had wanted to visit one children’s home while they were in India. After trying to contact 10 other children’s homes and being told they were closed to visitors, they called George pretty late in the evening. Without thinking, George told them to come on over. After they had visited for a while and George mentioned their predicament, they wrote him a check for 14,000 rupees and left.

The amount of stories like this that we’ve heard has kind of blown my mind. George and Jyothi have a faith stronger than any I’ve ever seen; they are consumed with serving the Lord, and they trust whole-heartedly that He will provide for their needs. The thing is, anyone can say they have faith. But to be tested over and over again like George has, to go through struggle after struggle and be faced with losing everything he’s worked for time and again, and still hold onto God’s promises and believe in His never-ending grace and love, is beyond inspiring. They are truly servants to Christ, striving daily to die to self and give all they have so that others might know His name. It’s beautiful, it’s humbling, and it’s incredibly convicting. You see, we don’t “need” faith like that in America. We are able to rely on our jobs, the comfort of our own homes, our bank accounts, etc. The American way of life is to be independent and provide for ourselves, but that is the exact opposite of what Jesus teaches. But it’s not just the poverty, the lack of ability to provide for themselves that instills such tremendous faith in these people. George could have had a decent job and been able to make enough to provide a nice home, food, clothes, education, and comfort for his family. Instead, he chose to live like Christ calls us to live, to give everything to those who have nothing, and lean on God for the rest. He chose to need the Lord every day. We know we’re supposed to need the Lord, and, as sinners, we recognize that all of us need His grace and mercy. But do our actions show that all we need is Him? Do we trust that He will provide our next meal or the shelter over our heads? Does Jesus not say that we are precious to the Father and that He will meet our every need? Why don’t we live like we believe Him?

I have felt called more than ever to live a simpler life, but not because the children and people around me have so much less than I do. It’s because a simpler life leaves less room for distractions and self-provision, and more room for trusting the Lord to fill our needs. Tyler and I are feeling the Spirit move us to make Helping Hands India a permanent part of our lives, and that is both extremely exciting and equally scary. Exciting because it’s the first thing that we’ve felt a passion about enough to want to dedicate our lives to it, and scary because it’s a huge step in the direction that our lives will go and a pretty big leap of faith. Please be praying for us as we continue to sort out God’s call for our lives with Helping Hands India, and continue to pray for the people here as they lay themselves down daily to serve the Lord.

First Taste of India

India is a country much less decrepit than people in the Western world think. To America’s standards, yes, it’s a bit dirty and crowded, but health care is improving, industry is growing, and big cities are thriving. The public water may not be safe to drink, but they have a system for treating it and providing citizens with clean water. India as a whole is no longer a country that is in desperate need of “western civilization.”

But I don’t want to paint the wrong picture here. Though the image of a country with no infrastructure is false, the poverty and brokenness in this country is still heart-wrenching. It is one of the leading countries in sex-trafficking, and there are still many children on the streets. The poverty and population lead to starvation, with many people (mostly children) dying daily from lack of food. The big cities are nicer than you may expect, but the slums are worse than you can possibly imagine. The cost of living may seem cheap, but the average Indian family makes roughly the equivalent of $50-$100 per month. Christianity makes up 3% of the population’s religion, and the rest put their hope in false gods and idols.

Despite the difficulties about life here, despite their struggles and hardships, these people are gracious, friendly, hospitable, and incredibly generous. I have never felt so welcomed in my life than by complete strangers at the New Hope for Children’s Home. The children are beautiful and filled with joy, and the staff goes out of their way to serve. What they lack in English communication skills (though most of them know at least some English) they make up for with love, kindness, and humility. Although we came here to serve, at times it feels like we’re the ones being served, the ones being blessed. Tyler and I have fallen in love with the country and the people, and we’ve been here for a week. 

The children at the orphanage gave us a wonderful welcoming ceremony the evening we got there.

So what does a day in our lives look like over here? Well, we get up at 5:30 with the children for morning prayer and exercise time. The staff heard that we were “exercise people,” as they called us, and asked us to lead, so we do walking, jogging, stretching and calisthenics. The kids get washed up, have breakfast, and head to school, where they stay until 4:00 in the afternoon. Helping Hands India has a small Bible seminary student group, and they’ve given us a couple of those classes a day to teach. Devotion is at 9:00, and then we teach English at 9:30. We had no idea we could be capable of teaching English, but it seems that they're actually learning from us, and they seem to be improving. At 11:30, I teach first aid to the seminary students and the staff of the orphanage. We were also able to put together a first aid kit for the children’s home to have, so it’s cool that they are learning how to better take care of the children. 

After first aid is lunch, and then we have the rest of the afternoon off. We’ve been using it to plan the next day’s lessons, nap, blog, pray, walk around, or whatever else we feel like doing. When the children get home from school, they have a little bit of time to play before they start on their studies, so we play with them and then help them study until around 7:30 when we have evening devotions. So far all they want is for us to teach them songs and tell them Bible stories, but we really love observing what they usually do. They know a plethora of songs, from hymns and worship songs, to kids’ Bible songs, to songs in their language, and it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard. Hearing children singing is usually an automatic source of joy for many people, but children who have very few possessions and are singing with all their might to the God who loves and protects them is beyond moving. 

By the time we’re done with studies and devotions, it’s about 8:00 in the evening and time for dinner. Speaking of dinner, the food has been incredibly delicious and insanely spicy. They've even tried really hard to "tone it down" from the spice level they usually eat, and it's still hot! The days are very long, but more fulfilling than anything I’ve ever done in my life. The kids go to school on Saturdays as well, but only for a half-day. When they get home, they have the entire afternoon and evening to play (no studies on Saturday!). So you can imagine that makes for a very long day as well…running around non-stop for 5 hours will wear you out. Especially when you don’t have the energy of a 9-year-old. But it’s a blast! They laugh constantly and find joy in the simplest things. I taught the girls Duck-Duck-Goose, and they loved it and were content to play it for over a half an hour. Tyler played the children’s version of hide-and-seek for hours and he still doesn’t understand the rules. We also learned a game called Lock and Key, which is kind of like freeze tag, except you freeze yourself.

Please continue praying for us! We love it here, but each day it’s difficult to give ourselves wholly over to the Lord and His purpose for us here. It’s easy to want to be selfish and take time to ourselves, but we’re not here to rest. And don’t get me wrong, we are having a blast and loving the work we’re doing here. We just want God to bless these people as much as possible through us, and that means putting ourselves aside, serving humbly, and giving wholeheartedly. We love you all! Thanks again for all your support and prayers.

India at Last

Hey everyone, just wanted to touch base and a) apologize for the lack of blog posts lately and b) let you know we have landed in India! We arrived in Bangalore yesterday morning and have been, in the past 36 hours, blown away by the love, joy, humility, and generosity of the people here. We've got a busy couple of months coming up, and we'll hopefully be able to give you a fuller update on what all that entails soon. Thank you so much for all your prayers and support! We're so excited to see what God is doing here and will do through us while we're with Helping Hands India. Love you all!

Not Home Yet

Earlier on our trip, Tyler and I watched the third Narnia movie, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Although I haven't read much of C.S. Lewis' work, I love his metaphors in the Narnia series. I particularly like the scene in Dawn Treader where they stand at the shore of Aslan's country. You can barely catch a glimpse of it, and it looks beautiful. It's described as better than any other place in the rest of the world, a new and exciting adventure, where Aslan resides. Because you can't return from it once you enter, you are there for forever. Sounds marvelous, doesn't it?

We have been traveling the world, and it's incredible. Seriously, there is nothing like seeing the changing landscape, experiencing different people, tasting different foods, and reliving history. Each new day I am mesmerized by the beauty around me and still shocked by the fact that Tyler and I are blessed with this opportunity. Now that we've been settled in Bulgaria for a little while, I've had some time to reflect on all the amazing things we've seen, and I have had a wake up call: I'm not home yet. "Well obviously," you say. "You're still abroad." But I'm not talking about my temporary home in the States. I'm talking about my eternal home.


Heaven is going to be so much better than anything, anywhere, on this earth. That sentence, describing how little we know to expect, can be mind-boggling. I will come right out and confess that sometimes, because of how intangible and incomprehensible heaven is and how tangible and wonderful this life can be, I have a hard time desiring heaven over this earth. I am guilty of being so caught up in the here and now that I don't think about the future (no, I'm not talking about what job I will get or how I will handle taxes...I'm talking about our eternal future). When I do stop and think about dying or Jesus coming back (look, one or the other is going to happen, ok?), I want to be able to say, "I can't WAIT to get to heaven!" But if I'm completely and totally honest with myself, my first thought is more like, "I'm sure heaven'll be great, but I still have a lot I want to do before I get there, like have kids and see the world and figure out a way to procure a life-time supply of free ice cream." I know, I know, it sounds terrible. And I promise that I don't want to feel that way! But we are sinful by nature, and that nature desires worldly, temporary things. I think it's doubt's way of creeping in. Every Christian has doubts about something or other in their faith, and my struggle with it makes it hard for me to let go of the things of this earth.

You see, whenever I try to imagine what heaven will be like, visions of all the good things about this world come to mind: a tropical beach, majestic mountains, laughter, all you can eat of the best food, etc. The problem with this is that those things, although good, are the things I like about earth. Because I have them here, I'm excited about being in heaven, but I'm in no hurry to get there. And that's where this mindset comes from: "Heaven will be an awesome place to spend eternity after I've had my long and fulfilling life here on earth."

It's when I take the time to really think about who God is, what He's done for me, and the vastness of His existence that I am taken aback by the reality of life here, and an unexpected joy about eternity fills my heart. The important thing to remember is that heaven is more than a place. Yes, it will be glorious as a "place," more beautiful than anything we can imagine, no more pain or tears, joy unlike we've ever known, etc. But heaven is eternity with God. It is forever and ever and ever with our Father, our Savior, our Friend, our Creator, our Lord, our Comforter. If that doesn't give you goosebumps, check your pulse. Whenever things are tough, I can remind myself that I'm not home yet, but I will be soon. Maybe not in three months, but I will be home with my Father soon, forever.

The title of our blog is Awake My Soul. This is actually the title to one of Tyler and I's favorite songs by Mumford and Sons, and I find that the lyrics are very fitting to the cry of both of our hearts as we continue on this epic adventure. One line says, "In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die. Where you invest your love, you invest your life." Life is so temporary! We are called to live with eternity in mind, and that means investing in the right things. Our prayer since the start of this journey has been for God to awaken our souls to new life, to purpose, to a deeper desire for Him. That is especially my prayer when I think about heaven: I want the clouded veil of this complicated worldly existence lifted so that I can see Jesus clearly and desire Him above all else. I was made to meet my maker!

"Awake my soul, for you were made to meet your maker."

My Big Fat Greek Anniversary

Ok. First things first, a little clarification. No, we are not still in Greece, we've been in Bulgaria for about a week and a half. No, we didn't spend our anniversary in Greece, because we were obviously here in Bulgaria (more on what we actually did on our anniversary later). But an update about our time in Greece is better late than never, and our anniversary gift to each other was a trip to Santorini while we were in Greece, hence the title of this post. Plus we really wanted to use a derivative of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. So there you go. Now that we've got that cleared up, here's an update about our time in Greece!

Coming from Italy, it was a lot easier to just fly. I recommend Aegean Airlines...our flight from Rome to Athens was 1.5 hours, and they served us a delicious in-flight meal with free wine. Our flight from Boston to Iceland a couple months ago was over 5 hours long and we didn't even get peanuts. The only downside was that Tyler had to sit in 29D, and I was in 8E. Not exactly close. Anyway, we made it to Athens and then had to find where we were staying, which turned out to be a much longer and more complicated process than we were anticipating, but we made it there safely and were able to get a good night's rest before sight-seeing the next day.

On our way up the north slope of the Acropolis, a view of the city

More of Athens

The Theater of Dionysus

Dionysus himself

About to the top of the Acropolis

The Old Temple of Athena

Front of Athena's temple

The side of the Parthenon

Parthenon!

Theater of Dionysus from above

Temple of Zeus

Ancient Agora

Love that Greek flag!

He could've been a Greek Olympian. Back side of the Propylaea.

From Athens, we headed to Pireaus to catch a ferry out to Santorini. I've wanted to see the Greek Isles (specifically Santorini) for a very long time, so this was quite the dream come true. When we got to the port, we realized our ferry was more of a miniature cruise ship, which was fine with us since the boat ride was 8 hours.

Santorini was more beautiful than I could've imagined, and it just couldn't have been a better three days. Our hotel was perfect; the owners were wonderfully sweet and accommodating, providing a delicious breakfast and a balcony in our room (an upgrade free of charge because we were celebrating our anniversary).

The entrance to the hotel rooms

Our little balcony, complete with the smallest table and chair set I've ever seen. We enjoyed lunch and dinner out here both days.

The view from our balcony

The hotel's restaurant terrace

Delicious breakfast and a great view!

Our hotel was in Oia, the town in Santorini where everyone wants to go to see the sunset. We were just across the road from a breath-taking opening through the descending village looking down into the caldera, and it seemed like every time we stepped out of the hotel to explore the village, it was more beautiful. Different times of the day made it beautiful in different ways as well. This is a place we will definitely be returning. I will try not to overload you with pictures, but it might be difficult.

Our first glimpse of Oia. It was pretty great. This was in the evening light.

There was something about the lights at night on the white-washed buildings reflecting into the blue sea that was mesmerizing.

I love that you can also see some of the other villages dotted along the island...they look like jewels!

So beautiful!

Mid-morning light was also pretty wonderful.

I really think I could live here.

Catching some sun by the pool. The hotel is behind us, and our room was one on the bottom left of the four balconies you can see.

It was such a wonderful experience. What a perfect way to celebrate our first anniversary!

We decided to follow the crowds and walk to the tip of the island to see what the fuss was all about.

It was pretty spectacular. Although the sunset here would've been beautiful, it was also visible from our balcony, so we took dinner back and enjoyed it there while we watched the sun go down.

We couldn't not have gyros while we were in Greece!

After Santorini, we had another couple days back on the mainland of Greece, but we decided to stay in Pireaus instead of going back to Athens since our ferry got back into port around midnight. We decided to take some time to relax and enjoy our view of the harbor instead of trying to cram in more sight-seeing.

This is the view from our balcony in Pireaus. Not too bad, huh? We had all our meals out here while we were there.

A really cool church near the apartment where we stayed

Another cool building...this may have been a national embassy of some sort.

The beach in Pireaus

The journey to Veliko Tarnovo from Athens was kind of long and complicated. No international trains are running to or from Greece right now, so we took a national train to Thessaloniki in the aftenoon, then a 6-hour bus from Thessaloniki to Sofia at midnight, then a 7:45 a.m. bus from Sofia to Veliko Tarnovo. Needless to say, we were pretty exhausted, but we got settled and started the seminar. Look for another update soon on what exactly we've been doing in Bulgaria! Love you all.